


got you flowers

by strideroar



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Marriage, Wedding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-10
Updated: 2014-02-10
Packaged: 2018-01-11 19:28:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1176986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strideroar/pseuds/strideroar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A personal headcanon of mine; John and Dave don't get married in a church, they get married in an old movie theater.</p>
            </blockquote>





	got you flowers

“Are my teeth too big?”

"What?"

"My teeth, I think they might be way too big. I mean, they’ve always been big, but… oh my god, I can’t get married with these teeth."

"What."

"Jade, I can’t fucking get married with these teeth. Call it off!"

"John!"

She grabs your shoulders and shakes you a bit, causing your glasses to slide down your nose slightly and you to become more disheveled as she looks determinedly into your eyes.

"Calm. Down."

"But my teeth—" You put a finger up to point to your mouth as you show off your ginormous, planet fucking Jupiter sized teeth.

"Are fine, John." Jade says, moving your hand away and smiling sweetly at you in a way you figure is supposed to be encouraging, but really just sort of makes you want to punch yourself.

"Everything is fine, it’ll go great."

"I’m getting married," You breathe out pathetically, shoulders slumping as your head bows down and you stare disbelieving at the floor, eyes searching the wood grain as if it carries the secrets of life, which you kind of really need right now, you have no idea what’s happening anymore— you’re almost certain at this point this is some really nerve wracking fever dream.

"What exactly are you worried about?" Jade asks carefully, stooping her head down to try and meet your eyes again. You sigh and shrug a bit.

"Puking," You admit, and she laughs, which makes you laugh, which makes her laugh more, and then you’re left there grinning like a big dumb as she strings off into giggles. You stand up straighter, glancing over to the far wall and smiling sheepishly.

"Okay yeah, that’s pretty funny." You mumble, a hand moving up to rub at the back of your neck. "But it’s a legitimate concern."

"You’re not gonna puke!" She exclaims breathlessly, smiling widely over at you and laughing a bit as if the idea of you being extremely nervous to the point of nausea and vomiting was absolutely absurd.

"I might," You reply in a matter that says it’s not absurd, you’ve done it multiple times in your life before dear god you really hope today isn’t gonna add to the list.

"What if…" You start hesitantly, before dropping your hand and shaking it a bit as you give yourself the courage to continue. "What if he… what if he see’s me, right? He sees me and then he just… His whole life flashes before his eyes and…  and…" You struggle for a moment with how to finish.

"And then he sees my giant teeth and gets the fuck out of dodge?"

Jade laughs a bit at how you end, which is good because it made you laugh, too.

"Don’t worry about your teeth, they’re adorable." She pats your arm, and you make a little distressed noise in the back of your throat as you bend your knees a bit in exasperation.

"That’s what people say when they don’t have anything good to actually say! Oh my god, fucking kill me already…"

"Or, maybe your teeth really /are/ adorable, and /maybe/ Dave won’t care because he’s seen them about a million times? And how many times has he kissed you before now?"

"Well yeah, but—"

"A lot, John. The answer is a lot. You’re being dumb."

"But— wedding! Teeth!"

"Not important! He loves you!"

You groan in defeat, turning to glance over at yourself in the mirror.

You turn to your side.

You frown.

"I look fat in this, don’t I?"

"I swear to god, John Egbert, I’m going to punch you."

* * *

 

"John Egbert, you are by far the most gooberish goob to ever— no, shit, that’s stupid."

"Very,"

"Fuck you, Rose, I’m trying. John Egbert—"

"You’re saying his name like you’re going to scold him. Word of advice; don’t scold your husband-to-be as you’re getting married."

"It does not sound like I’m scolding him."

"Say his name again, then."

"John Egbe—"

"Yes, that’s very scolding."

"Okay, I have to say his full fucking name, Rose, that’s kind of how it goes."

"Well then, you better do it in a less scolding manner."

"I’m not scol—! Okay, you’re doing this on purpose. I’m just gonna ignore you."

"That’s very rude of you, ignoring the advice of your best lady."

"Where the fuck is my best man?"

"Last I talked to him, he was freaking out."

"Well good," You breathe, nodding a little in approval. "That’s why he’s my best man; someone’s gotta be able to do it for me."

"Well, he’s obviously doing quite the shitty job if you’re still flipping your metaphorical shit."

"There is no flipping going down in this general vicinity, metaphorical or no. Now shut the fuck up, I’m working on my vows here."

Rose smiles fondly, “You really should have written something down, Dave.”

"No fucking way, I kick this sort of shit from my head. It’s easy."

"Oh, is that why you’re struggling so much with figuring out what to say?"

You scowl over at her, “Look, I could do this any other day. I just can’t right now because…”

"Because you’re flipping your shit?"

"Is it bad luck to kill your sister on your wedding day?"

She keeps her expression level as she steps forward to adjust your tie.

"I’m not sure it would harbor anything particularly positive."

"Well ain’t that just a dunderfuckin’ shame."

She undoes your tie, apparently not satisfied with how it was done.

"Want to try those vows again?"

“Sure, yeah, easy enough.” You mutter, eyes on her hands as she flattens out both ends of the tie before picking them up and beginning to re-do it.

“Uh, John Egbert,” Rose smiles a bit down at the tie as she works, and you know it’s because you sound nervous and she finds that endearing so you know what, fuck her, you’re just not going to look at her smug little face.

Your eyes flit over to the mirror, lined with lights and absolutely spotless.

“John Egbert,” You breathe out quietly.

* * *

 

The theater is almost completely covered in golden carvings, every design swirly and coiled in almost a vine-like way around the pillars and walls. The seats are velvety and red, and they climb up along one side of the theater as the stage dips into a curved shape on the other. In no way is the theater filled completely by the time everyone files into their respective seats, flooding in from the lobby just outside. Faintly, you can hear music playing in the background. All it is is some gentle guitar, something Dave pulled out his ass a few weeks before. Ever since he got that guitar from the sidewalk two years ago, he’s been almost obsessed with teaching himself how the fuck to play it. You’re glad he finally got a handle on it, considering what’s currently playing is actually really nice. While he has a natural knack for learning how to make digital music, he struggles a bit more with more classical means. The piano took like five years or something, but half of you thinks he was purposefully messing up just because he liked how you adjusted his hands on the keys or leaned closer to watch him play.

What a gay.

Carefully, slowly, the lights begin to dim, and you can hear Karkat angrily shushing the people around him. You hold back a small laugh, grinning to yourself because of how ironic it is that Karkat, of all people, is shushing other people for being loud.

He really is a sucker for romantic shit, huh.

The guitar begins to fade as well as the curtains shift aside off the stage, revealing the old movie screen behind an elaborate set of flowers and an arch, where the wedding officiant and you stand. You fiddle a bit with your cufflinks, heat in your cheeks as you do your best to avoid looking at everyone in the audience.

You try not to focus on your worries because, as it just so happens, Dave’s supposed to be up here too.

But he’s not.

You let out a little breath, chancing a glance over at the officiant in a silent gesture of ‘where the fuck is Dave,’ but you’re a little confused when they don’t seem fazed at all. Your eyebrows furrow for a moment, and you’re opening your mouth just slightly to whisper your question over at them, when music suddenly starts up.

It’s the fucking Indiana Jones theme.

Your eyes go up over to the audience, and you just so happen to notice a certain douchebag swinging in from above them.

You slap a hand over your face as you let out a little laugh, and Dave lands on the stage with much clapping accompanying. He undoes his little harness and casually walks over to you, where you’re giving him a look.

He pulls out a little bouquet of flowers, holding them out for you to take.

“I got you flowers.”

You laugh more, taking the flowers carefully before moving your hand up to nudge his shoulder a bit and he poorly holds back a grin.

You shake your head in amusement, turning back to the officiant who’s smiling warmly at you and Dave before raising her microphone slightly.

“Are you two good, then?”

“As good as I’ll ever be marrying this douchebag.” You mutter, and Dave nudges your shoulder in retaliation, causing a ginormous grin to split across your face as he shifts a bit where he stands so you’re both facing each other.

Yeah, you’re ready.

“Then I think we’ll start.”

She smiles softly, holding up her little folder of paper a bit better, and suddenly everything seems so very quiet. So quiet you almost feel like you need to hold your breath to preserve the moment.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” She begins, and you let out the little breath you were holding, a small and quiet nervous laugh escaping you along with it. Dave smiles a bit in that way of his that says he’s trying to reassure you.

Your heart is tripping all over itself and your stomach seems to be doing flips.

But at least Dave is there.

“Today we are gathered together to celebrate the marriage of John Egbert and Dave Strider.”

You whisper out a quiet, “Can I hold his hand?” To her and she laughs a tiny bit along with Dave as she nods, and you move the hand that isn’t holding flowers out to take a hold of Dave’s already outstretched and waiting hand. He squeezes your hand lightly, and your face is starting to heat up even more as you hiss out a tiny little “Oh shut up.”

You’re not nervous, it’s fine.

Nope, yeah, it’s totally fine.

“Marriage is the promise between two people who love each other,” You and Dave smile at one another. “Who trust each other,” You and Dave both let out a brief little laugh. “Who honor one another as individuals in that togetherness, and who wish to spend the rest of their lives with each other.”

You hope to god your eyes are just rapidly starting to lose their function, because if you’re already getting blurry eyed because you’re gonna cry like a dumb stupid baby, you swear to fucking god.

Dave squeezes your hand again.

He’s noticed.

That dumb considerate asshole.

“It enables the two separate souls to share their desires, longings, dreams, joys, and sorrows, and to help each other through all uncertainties of life.”

“Do you share my longing for your sweet ass?” Dave mutters under his breath, and you choke on a laugh.

The officiant shuts her folder, holding it down against her side as she continues talking.

“My part was left fairly short so these two could have time to say their own vows, so I’ll just let them go ahead.”

She holds out the microphone to you, and your heart is instantly jumping all over the place. You attempt to take it with the hand full of flowers, but Dave laughs a bit and starts to let go of your hand to presumably let you use it, but you grip his hand tighter because that is the last fucking thing you want to have happen. Instead, you shove the flowers into Dave’s face for him to hold before moving that hand to take the microphone. Dave’s laughing all soft as he lowers the flowers from his face, giving you an amused little look. A group of people in the crowd seem to be laughing too but you barely register them because as far as you’re concerned, right now it’s just you and Dave.

You carefully bring the microphone up only to go, “Oh shit, my notecards.”

There’s another distant ring of laughter as you pull the microphone away, angling your hip towards the officiant, muttering under your breath as you ask her to take your notecards out of your pocket. She’s laughing and Dave’s laughing as he squeezes your hand again, whispering, “You are fucking ridiculous.”

You stick your tongue out at him as the officiant gets the notecards out finally, holding them up for you to see, but you tell her instead to just set them in the bouquet of flowers because that’ll work well enough.

She does so, you mumble a thanks, and Dave is giving you the biggest amused look in the history of the universe, so you use the mic to nudge his bouquet holding hand up to cover his mouth and nose with flowers.

You hear his quiet laugh and you see the little amused pull in his eyebrows, and your heart melts just a tiny bit.

You raise the mic again to begin.

“Okay… Dave Strider—”

“Aw, you didn’t use my porn name?”

“Dude shut up, these are my vows.”

“I’m still disappointed.”

You laugh a tiny bit, rolling your eyes before you try again.

“Dave strider, I spent a lot of time thinking about what I was gonna say because… well, you know, this is a big deal and all that, and we all know I’m not really the best with talking and making stuff sound nice. And um…”

Your eyes glance back up at Dave, and he’s not giving you any funny look or raising his eyebrows or anything like that. He’s just watching you intently, waiting patiently for you to keep going.

Your cheeks heat more and you turn your eyes down again.

“You’ve always been more to me than just a best friend. You’ve always been there when I needed someone, you’ve always been willing to put up with my asshole-ish personality and you’re more than willing to call me out for being stupid.” You laugh a bit before sucking in a tiny little breath, blurry eyes returning with a vengeance.

“I’m basically 100% sure I’d be absolutely miserable without you—like I’d probably still be working at Target or something stupid like that, considering you were the one that poked at me to get me go do what I actually wanted.”

Your fingers are nervously moving up and down the microphone and your gripping onto Dave’s hand like it’s a lifeline.

You suck in a breath before rushing out the next line, a little strained upturn to your lips as your vision goes blurrier and blurrier because you’re a huge baby.

“I’m glad I fell for your gay butt because you look after mine and even though you bullshit half the stuff you say, you’re still the most genuine guy I’ve ever met and I love you.”

“That’s the lamest shit I’ve ever heard.” Dave retorts after a brief moment as he squeezes your hand, though his voice sounds a little thick and strained.

The realization hits you pretty quick, and you whisper quietly, “Oh my god, are you crying?”

“Shut up and gimme the goddamn mic.” He mumbles, holding the flowers out to you, and you manage to somehow grab them as you hand him the mic at the same time. You’ve got a little smile on your face, and Dave clears his throat briefly, sucking in a breath through his nose.

There’s a brief moment where it’s quiet, and he’s just watching you carefully, before he begins softly, “John Egbert,”

You smile a bit bigger, encouraging him more even though there is most definitely a tear getting ready to fall down your stupid face and wow, you are both just huge babies.

“I can’t really explain how it feels falling for your best friend, but the best I got is that it’s sort of like an ass is power kicking the fuck out of your heart whenever I see your goober-ass face. And when I say an ass kicking, I mean like a donkey. Or I guess a literal ass is fine too. I mean, you do got a pretty kick-ass one.” You laugh a bit, and he lets out a breath. “I’m saying ass a lot, so I’m just gonna… keep goin’.

“I was like fifteen or something when it first hit me, and I got fucking winded by the force of it because honestly, figuring out you had it pretty bad for your best friend who seemed to swing pretty heavily in a direction you were not in was not exactly the easiest thing to deal with. Let me just shame you for a moment, John Egbert, because you really did not make it easy for me.”

You laugh a tiny bit before pressing your lips together, keeping your eyes trained up at Dave, who’s got this little smile on his face that is melting your heart in ways a smile should never be allowed to do.

“In tenth grade, for one thing, your hair started to do the sex-messy thing and it almost drove me insane having to stare at it in math class because I sat in the back and your were like right in front of me. Or later in the year when you got your braces off and you did that fucking thing where you ran your tongue over your teeth almost constantly and that may have even been worse. I was but a poor, innocent pubescent kid and you were absolutely torturing me, you fiend.”

You give him a guilty grin and he just smiles wider.

“But more importantly, I fell for you and, unsurprisingly, you fell for me after years of exposure to great wit, flawless charm, and a face you can’t help but love.”

You roll your eyes, but his voice suddenly gets soft and he’s watching you very intently.

“I love you so much, John, despite all the shit we’ve put each other through. I love you so much that the idea of that love going away is strange and honestly, it freaks the fuck out of me.”

He squeezes your hand, and a few tears finally escape down your cheek.

“But it helps knowing that it ain’t going anywhere, John, and neither am I.”

You have to bite your lip and have to look down because damn it, you’re actually crying.

His hand slips from yours, and you’re about to chase after it when suddenly it settles on the side of your face, and his thumb sweeps away a tear.

“I love you,” and his voice is so soft and sweet, it causes a tiny happy sob to slip out.

He laughs a bit, and you mumble out a little, “shut up.”

He hands the mic back to the officiant, who takes it gratefully before speaking in a very gentle voice.

“Do you, Dave Strider, take John Egbert to be your lawful wedded husband? To love, comfort, honor, and protect him; forsaking all others to be faithful to him until death do you part?”

“I do.”

His voice is so soft, and he never once looks away from you.

“Do you, John Egbert, take Dave Strider to be your lawful wedded husband? To love, comfort, honor and protect him; forsaking all others to be faithful to him until death do you part?”

You nod your head before managing a tiny, “I do.”

“If you could both take out your rings,”

You nod a bit, and his hand pulls back from your face to fish out the ring from his pocket. Your hand goes down to your right pocket, and when you don’t find it there your heart stops for a moment. Your hand moves to your left pocket, and you let out a tiny breath of relief because oh thank god, there it is.  

You and Dave get ready to put the rings on at the same time as the officiant starts talking again.

“Repeat after me; this ring,”

“This ring,” You both chime, slowly beginning to slide it on each other’s ring fingers.

“Which has no beginning and no end,”

“Which has no beginning and no end,” Your voice is all thick and your hand is shaking just a tiny bit, you are such a big baby.

“Symbolizes the love and trust between us that will never cease.”

“Symbolizes the love and trust between us that will never cease.” You glance up at Dave and he gives you a big dumb grin that has you grinning back.

“May its presence on your hand remind you of my love and vow.”

“May its presence on your hand remind you of my love and vow.” Your eyes stay trained on one another.

“I place it on your finger as a visible sign of the promises of our togetherness.”

“I place it on your finger as a visible sign of the promises of our togetherness.”

“From now until forever.”

“From now… until forever.”

“You may now kiss—”

Your arms are already thrown around his neck and his hands are already on your waist, and his mouth moves to quickly meet yours.

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr mirror: http://stridipshit.tumblr.com/post/76132938980/got-you-flowers
> 
> just a little hey, i'm not dead! also, i put this up here on ao3 because i was thinking possibly of writing more, but i'm not sure! i don't know, tell me what you think.


End file.
